Sardonic Sister: Everyone's Favorite Sibling

our sardonic sister...

Aloha nui loa, Hip Hapa Homeez. With daylight savings time just around the corner, it feels like spring is on her way. Even though Your Hip Hapa is looking forward to the sense of renewal and rebirth this time of year brings, I find myself still attached to the past.

Like, remembering the first handful of people who contacted me shortly after I re-launched this blog in 2008—one of them being Renee Tecco, this month’s featured Hip Hapa Homee. You may know Renee because of her writing and by her “stage” name Sardonic Sister. Well, here's everyone's favorite sibling:

Q: Renee, how did your parents meet?

A: Both of my parents are African American and were a part of the great migration of blacks from the south to the north (my father after he served in WWII and my mother in the late 50’s). They met through my cousin who was dating my mother's close friend.

Q: Where were you brought up?

A: My father left when I was young and I was raised in the projects--all African American, of course. It was the early 70’s and, even in Cincinnati, they were just beginning to integrate the schools. My first memory of realizing things were different for us was when I participated with my mother and older brothers in a walk to help provide busing from our area to the local school. The school was predominantly white. It wasn't until I went to junior high that I encountered other ethnicities. 

Jim and Renee

Q: How did you meet your husband, and what are some challenges of an interracial relationship? 

A: I met my husband nearly 10 years ago in a Yahoo! group that discusses Asian American-African American issues. He’s Korean American and was adopted into a white family when he was a baby.

There have been no challenges to our being an interracial couple; most of our disagreements are cultural issues that stem from me being a Cincinnatian and his being a Clevelander.

kids J2 and Mimi, with Filmore

Q: In what ways did you two help your children shape their identities?

A: The children are grown now, but we tried to raise them with the knowledge that self-identifying and connecting with community is more important than the external acceptance of strangers. 

My daughter is African American and my (step)son is Korean-African American. It's interesting trying to see race through their eyes. My son has black step-siblings with his mother so he self identifies as blasian when people often ask him, "What are you?"

My daughter has half-white siblings through her father, although she doesn't get to interact with them much since they live on the West Coast. Of course, she self identifies as black, but I have often pondered that my relationship to blackness isn't the same as my kids’. 

Ejiro in Hapa*Teez

Q: With all of your passionate pursuits, do you consider yourself an activist?

A: I don't consider myself an activist, but more of a person who is really, really curious (sometimes passionately so) about almost everything. With my blog, I want to connect people to ideas and an openness of understanding. I blog about LGBTQ because a lot of my friends are in that community, while at the same time I can relate to those who are wary of them because I was once that way, too. 

I blog about being black and trying to navigate the rise of other minorities, whether it's them surpassing us in population or in the workplace. 

I blog about being nerdy; I love science and I am a trivia fanatic (I think they made the magazine Mental Floss just for me). 

I blog about music; I am a black rock music fan, but I am also a KPop fan. I know, they seem diametrically opposed, but when I am out on a jog it all blends well with the electronic/dance music I am undoubtedly listening to.

Cassie in Hapa*Teez

Julia in Hapa*Teez

Q: Why do you call yourself “Sardonic Sister”?

A: I came up with the name Sardonic Sister for my main blog because I felt after the age of 35 I had graduated from being sarcastic to mordant. Plus, it has a better ring than Pragma-Sis, which people probably wouldn't get.

Q: What’s in the future? Any final thoughts?

A: For the Sardonic Sistah blog, besides continuing to look at race, music, and science from an Ohioan perspective, I also plan to update more on my family and fiction blog.

Eva in Hapa*Teez

Each person relates to the world in a different way, but in minority communities we soften out the edges to give the illusion of unity. For the last 20 years or so, the definition of who is black and even who gets to be black has been getting kicked around among laymen and scholars alike. For a brief moment, it seemed to restrict and looked as if black youth culture was obscuring it. But looking at my kids and their generation, it seems as if they are figuring it out and strengthening it. Which is not to say that sometimes they don't feel isolated from some African Americans or some Asian Americans, but they have learned to move on and find compatible friends/communities where they can express themselves and grow. In regards to race, we tried to get across to them that in life they will run across people who may want to pull your race/gender card (you aren't acting black enough, Asian enough, masculine enough, feminine enough), but the only person's opinion that matters is their own.

And mine, of course.

Just kidding. 

As a writer, I have always been interested in reaching out to marginalized voices or older voices to have them heard. I am generally an introverted person. So, I am not my favorite subject, but people in general fascinate me and I have never shied away from an interview or conversation with people from all walks of life. Under my maiden name, I have written freelance for The Cincinnati Herald (a local black newspaper) and worked with the Cincinnati Black Theatre Company (CBTC). With CBTC, I have done public relations as well as written and adapted a few plays. 

Carol in Hapa*Teez

This year with the Sardonic Sister blog, I want to focus on education. When my daughter was young and I was a single mother, I was always looking for low-cost ways to help supplement her education. Some things I got her into, others I missed out on. A lot of people gave praise and criticism to Amy Chua for her book (and mostly her attitude) about being a “Tiger Mom”. I realize that a lot of African American women in poverty are also “Tiger Mothers”--we just don't have the resources or we don't know about certain programs because no one is telling us. I know because I was one of those mothers who knew just enough to search out information and not rely on my local school.

The feature on my blog will run biweekly and can be located by searching the tag “The Urban Mama's Guide to Educating Children”.  I have already written two articles on the subject and more are forthcoming this year.

Robert in Hapa*Teez

Mahalo nui loa, Renee. You are one busy and prolific Sardonic Sister. Your Hip Hapa is sooo hapa to have known you from the start.

Here’s a link to an article that cited Renee’s story for a story written in The Cincinnati Herald.

http://library.cincymuseum.org/aag/history/stoweschool.html

And, here are the Sardonic Sister’s blog links again:

http://sweetricechronicles.wordpress.com/

http://renfic.wordpress.com/

Just like Renee, you Hip Hapa Homeez can also get involved in the multi-culti movement. Get active by: liking Watermelon Sushi and Hapa*Teez on Facebook. Join our discussions on the Hip Hapa Homeez group page on Facebook. Check out our vid clip of Hapa*Teez on YouTube, and buy one at Café Press.

Until spring arrives for real, and beyond, I will always be

Your Hip Hapa

Yayoi

Short And Sweet

Aloha Hip Hapa Homeez,

the poet ponders

HAPA Black History Month, Valentine’s Day and, of course, Presidents’ Day (George and Lincoln). February is a terribly busy month for being so short. In keeping with things quick and fast, please enjoy the following interview with Kahlil Crawford (Fontaine).

Seriously, Your Hip Hapa has been acquainted with Mr. Crawford, an artist and poet who heads Latin Music Booking, since about 1999, when he first contacted me about Watermelon Sushi. Since then, we’ve both grown along with the mixed-race movement. Please indulge yourself and enjoy this sweet treat.

Q: Kahlil, who are your parents and how did they meet?

A: I have three parents--my father remarried--who all met in Chicago (my hometown). My birth parents were high school sweethearts. I identify my Father as Afro-Créole; my birth Mother as Huguenot; and, my other Mother as Afro-Irish/Celtic. 

Q: Were you aware of your mixed-race heritage as you were growing up?

A: I grew up upper-middle class in Chicago. I was always aware of my mixed heritage, more so on my Father's side, yet never beyond the context of family history awareness. I was not politicized as a mixed-race person. It was always more of a historical or conversational footnote, something to discuss privately around family heirlooms or at reunions.

When my family began attending Carnavale, we became Créolized. New Orleans/Mardi Gras culture became predominate in our home. Créolité Louisiane is my cultural essence.

mixed-race neighborhood?

Q: What kinds of neighborhoods did you live in?

A: I grew up in Hyde Park-Kenwood, undoubtedly one of the more integrated and academically oriented neighborhoods in Chicago. Mixed-race families were, and are, a common sight and normal to the neighborhood dynamic.

Q: You said you were not politicized as a mixed-race person growing up. How did you eventually become politicized?

A: The Boricua instilled in me “Mulatto Pride, Loyalty & Self-Defense”.

in solidarity, alone

Q: What do you consider the biggest issue for people who are multigenerational mixed-race?

A: I have always believed the greatest issue facing the mixed-race community is solidarity. Advancing solidarity has been the backbone of my activism from day one...much easier spoken than achieved. 

Q: As a poet and artist, how do you convey your mixed-race messages through art?

A: Right now I'm repping my Native side. I belong to the Métis Nation. Check us out. Mitakuye Oyasin.

Q: What significant contributions have you made to the mixed-race movement, if any?

A: I am proud of having written for the now-defunct mgmix.com (MyGeneMix) with Chance Kelsey. I am now a member of sblendedblend.com.

Keepin’ it on the real, Hip Hapa Homeez, thank you for your short attention span this month. And, please check out our Watermelon Sushi website and like our Facebook fan page. You can also watch a video of our Hapa*Teez t-shirts on YouTube and like our fan page. And, while you’re on YouTube, look for our War Brides of Japan version 1 and version 2 videos with its own fan page. And, remember to join our Hip Hapa Homeez group page to add your voice to the mix, so to speak.

HAPA February!

Your Hip Hapa,

Yayoi

Another Year Here

Aloha, Hip Hapa Homeez.

As we say in Hawai’i, ‘Hau’oli Makahiki Hou’ for Happy Year New. Here’s wishing the best for you and yours in 2013.

Since this is Your Hip Hapa’s first blog post of the New Year, I'd like to make this month one of intermittent silence in honor of Hip Hapa Homeez that are no longer in our Watermelon Sushi World. During your busy days ahead, please take a few minutes to remember the following good folks:

Yuriko-san's first passport

First and foremost is my Mom, Yuriko-san. A Japanese war bride, she is the primary subject for the War Brides of Japan documentary. For those of you familiar with my media work spanning some 13 years now, you know that no one has had a more profound effect on my life than she did. Please join me in a sweet salute and a kind kiss skyward to the incredibly multi-talented Yuriko-san. 

Here’s one of my fave blogs about her:

http://www.watermelonsushiworld.blogspot.com/2008/02/remembering-racial-moments.html

Yuriko-san, left, with friend Emiko-san

Derrick-san in Tokyo

Also in November, we bid adieu to our astonishingly creative Director of Marketing and Publicity, Far East, Derrick Michael Holmes. A dancer, model, actor publicist and all-around great guy, Derrick will be missed not only for his extraordinary input as a promoter, but also for his kind-hearted generosity.

Here’s Derrick’s Facebook page: 

https://www.facebook.com/derrick.m.holmes

Ms. Muffin

On New Year’s Eve, Yuriko-san’s dog of 11 years joined her Mom on the other side of Watermelon Sushi World. Please say goodbye to our mixed-race mutt, Muffin:

http://www.watermelonsushiworld.blogspot.com/2008/10/chill-pill-week-and-mixed-race-pets.html

http://www.watermelonsushiworld.blogspot.com/2008/04/mixed-race-animals-proclaimed-inferior.html

http://www.watermelonsushiworld.blogspot.com/2008/04/muffins-twin.html

Several years ago, I was dismayed to learn of the passing of a great filmmaker friend in Hawai’i. Here’s the blog I wrote about Sergio Goes, a cross-cultural Brazilian living in Honolulu, in 2008.

http://www.watermelonsushiworld.blogspot.com/2008/09/aloha-no-straightened-hair-and.html

Since we’re taking this month to honor those who’ve left us, let’s also remember those still here who helped pioneer the mixed-race agenda.

Folks like author Teri LaFlesh:

http://www.watermelonsushiworld.blogspot.com/2010/05/curly-like-me-in-da-houze-and.html

author Teri LaFlesh

Arana and her Topaz Sisterhood:

http://www.watermelonsushiworld.blogspot.com/2010/07/perfectly-precious-topaz.html

Arana sitting in center

Nikki and son, Daniel

Euphoria Luv (now Asian Black Community):

http://watermelonsushiworld.blogspot.com/2010/01/blasian-baby-blogging.html

Jen Chau of Swirlinc.org:

http://www.watermelonsushiworld.blogspot.com/2008/04/new-york-times-punks-out-hot-hapa-mess.html

The Mixed Chicks and their Mixed Roots Film and Literary Festival:

http://www.watermelonsushiworld.blogspot.com/2008/07/mixed-chicks-chat-rules.html

If you know a mixed-race pioneer, or anyone forwarding our Hip Hapa Homeez agenda, drop us an email so we can interview them for our next month’s blog.

Meanwhile, watch our Hapa*Teez video and buy a t-shirt, like our Hapa*Teez fan page, check out our Watermelon Sushi film, like our Watermelon Sushi fan page, check out our War Brides of Japan videos, like our War Brides of Japan fan page, and join our Hip Hapa Homeez group page on Facebook to participate in discussions about being biracial, blended, interracially involved, mestizo, mixed race, multicultural and/or transracially adopted.

100 poems cards read for New Year's

Here’s to a HAPA New Year from…

Your Hip Hapa,

Yayoi

Sayonara Derrick-san And Welcome One Drop Of Love

Derrick-san

He was humble and sweet, rarely uttering an unkind word about anyone. And, if I ever did so, he’d quietly come to that person’s defense--pleading with me to give them another chance. That’s just the way he was, an unpretentious champion for the underdog.

Yet he was also a relentless and devoted Associate Producer. A tireless publicity machine, Derrick Michael Holmes was our man in Tokyo working as Director of International Marketing and Publicity for the Far East. An African American actor, dancer and model, he was that rare gaijin in Japan who really “got” the culture. He fit in like, dare I say it, white on rice.

Last week, Derrick-san passed away and our Watermelon Sushi World nearly ended. After all, he was the one maintaining our brand in the global spotlight. Besides marketing our Watermelon Sushi film, he kept the public informed about this Watermelon Sushi World blog, our Watermelon Sushi Facebook fan page, our Hapa*Teez facebook fan page and YouTube vid clip, our War Brides of Japan documentary’s three YouTube vid clips and Facebook fan page—and, so much more. Derrick-san tweeted, g-plused, mixi-ed and facebooked us constantly, without complaint and without looking for compliments.

Please join me in sending Derrick-san off on his new journey with a “sayonara and arrigatou gozaimashita”. Your Hip Hapa is forever grateful that this incredibly brilliant star spent his last few years shining on our Watermelon Sushi World.

Another bright star is this week’s featured Hip Hapa Homeez, Fanshen Cox DiGiovanni. You may recall Fanshen as being one half of the Mixed Chicks. Well, Fanshen has some revolutionary news for you! Here’s the link to her latest: www.onedropoflove.com

Fanshen at six months

Q: Who are your parents and how did they meet?

A: My mom identifies as Cherokee, Danish and Blackfoot Indian. My father is Jamaican (born and raised), and identifies as Pan African. They met in college, when dad was my mom's Political Science TA.

Fanshen with Dad

Q: How were you raised?

A: My parents divorced early. Then, my mom, brother and I moved around quite a bit. We lived everywhere from a 'hippie' commune in DC, to a racist town in Maine, to liberal Cambridge, MA.

Q: According to your blog, your name Fanshen means "to start a revolution". In so many ways, you've done just that with Mixed Chicks Chat on Blog Radio (Talkshoe) and the annual Mixed Roots Film & Literary Festival. Now, you've got a one-woman show about you and your father. How does writing and performing differ from what you've been doing previously?

Fanshen in Chinese

A: Thank you! I spent a lot of time creating and producing both, and I just loved being able to offer a safe place for people to share their stories. But then a little over a year ago, I realized that in creating that space for others I hadn't really afforded myself the same opportunity. It's very humbling to be the one creating and submitting my own work, instead of the one deciding which work to include.

with Winston Barrington

Q: In the show, you say that you’re “in search of your father’s approval”. What does your father think of that?

A: You'll have to see the show or watch the documentary to find out :)

Q: As an actress, you’ve been told to choose between being either "white" or "black" as casting options. Did you ever do that? Do you think that practice will ever change?

A: Yes, I did it often when I first moved to LA. I'd change my hair, I'd code switch--become anything I thought they'd wanted. I finally learned that I had to start with who I am at my core that would free me to be present on film/stage. It has changed some. There is now a breakdown for 'us': Ethnically Ambiguous. But, since many casting directors lack broad cultural experiences, they often still don't have the context to be able to imagine 'us' in some roles.

Peace Corps days

playing detective

Q: Where can we see your One Drop of Love show and upcoming feature documentary?

A: The show will debut in Los Angeles in March 2013. Then I'll go into pre-production on the film after I graduate in June 2013 (the performance piece is in partial fulfillment of my MFA degree). I'll keep you posted with more details! 

Q: Where would you like for your acting career to eventually take you?

at Critical Mixed Race Studies conference, Chicago
photo by Ken Tanabe

A: I'd love to tour with One Drop of Love and include interactive workshops along with the performance. I will continue to do theater--my first love--but I also want to continue to write for film (I've co-written two features) and produce and act in those films. Perhaps one day I'll even get to work with you, Yayoi!

Finally, I'm proud to say that you can catch me in a pivotal scene in the thriller Argo, which is out in theaters now.

chillin'

Well, Hip Hapa Homeez, it’s been a tumultuous few months. Your Hip Hapa has lost two of the most important people in her life. Yet, your strong support and warm voices have been a healing energy. Please don’t stop the cards and letters from coming in, folks.

Until we meet again, here’s a wish for eternal peace from...

Your Hip Hapa,

Yayoi

Expat Super Moms Of Mixies

Yuriko

It is with deep heartache that I dedicate this month’s blog post to a late, great War Bride of Japan (and my Mom) Yuriko. She came into this world many moons ago and left it over the weekend. Besides being a Super Mom eons before that term was even coined, she was also an accomplished artist (oil painter), woodcarver, writer of haiku, seamstress, quilter, traditional Japanese dancer and judo practitioner who was obsessed with sumo and other types of wrestling. But above all, her favorite hobby was cooking and she made all our family meals from scratch. She even made tofu from soybeans, whole wheat bread filled with flaxseeds, and her fresh apple and berry pies were legend. No ethnic dish escaped her skilled hands either. Whether it was Japanese sushi or Indian naan or Chinese eggrolls, that girl could throw down in the kitchen. Repatriating from Japan to the U.S. during a time when Japanese were loathed in America, she endured a lot. Please send a tender kiss to the brave and beautiful Yuriko and wish her well on the other side of Watermelon Sushi World.

Here’s another mother who also deserves our recognition. Maria Tumolo aka MsXpat writes a blog called Tiger Tales:

http://tigertales-msxpat.blogspot.com/

The mother of a Blasian boy, MsXpat takes her mommy role seriously, but with wry humor. Read all about this Hip Hapa Homeez below:

MsXpat's parents

Q: Who are your parents and how did they meet?

A: The details are a bit hazy as the elders in my family don't talk too much about their past. However, the bit that I know is my mom migrated to Trinidad as a young girl from St. Vincent. She lived with her mum and siblings in a working-class area named Laventille, which is in the capital Port-of-Spain. Her mum was of white and black mixed-race heritage and her father was a black Carib (descendant of a mix between an AmerIndian race called Carib and West African). My mum would classify herself as being black. My dad moved into the area as a young man and spotted my mum, or her legs as he would say, on one of her errands to the local shop. The rest is history. My dad's mother is of Native Venezuela Indian origin, but I don't know the official name of the tribe and his father was Portuguese Creole from Dutch Guyana, also known as Suriname.

MsXpat at 4

Q: How did you grow up?

A: My mother was 19 years-old when I was born. At the time, she was not married to my father. They married several years later when I was 10. In between that time, my mother and I lived with her mother and her siblings and their kids. So, I grew up in an extended family unit. The community had many mixed people as is reflective of the Trinidadian community as a whole--although I believe most people would consider themselves black, unless they have a totally Indo-Trinidadian background or are of Chinese or Syrian heritage. When my parents married, I continued to live with my maternal grandmother as it was the home I was used to. I continued to live with her until I emigrated to England at the age of 28.

Q: You write extensively about your family--who's your husband and how did you meet?

Angelo at 7 months

A: My husband is of Mauritian Chinese and Italian heritage. However, his Chinese heritage is dominant as he was raised by his Chinese mother. We were introduced to each other via a mutual friend whom he worked with and who I knew from back in Trinidad.

Q: What's it like being an expatriate in England?

A: I've always enjoyed my expat experience. I like the invisibility and feeling of a fresh start that it gives. Coming from a small island, it can be a bit stifling and limiting. Additionally, as I grew up in a relatively rough working-class part of the island, opportunities were limited because people judged you based on where you lived. I had to find creative ways to achieve the things I wanted to achieve. I'm not saying that the same limitations don't exist in England--as it's an island, too. However, there is a greater chance to obtain opportunities based on merit. However, now that I'm a mother I find being an expat a bit isolating.

Angelo at 22 months

Q:  What is Tiger Tales about, and what motivated you to begin writing it? (btw, I like the play on the words Tiger Tails.)

A: My son was born in the Chinese Year of the Tiger, so, his Chinese Horoscope is that of a Tiger. I was having a rough time adjusting to motherhood and then via a friend on Facebook I came across the blog Chocolate Hair Vanilla Care http://www.chocolatehairvanillacare.com/ I thought that their family story was so beautiful, it got me wondering if there were any blogs that reflected my family. Then I discovered Blasian Baby Notes http://blasianbabynotes.blogspot.co.uk/ As it’s an American blog, I thought it would be interesting to explore the English experience and so Tiger Tales was born. In short, my blog chronicles my parenting experiences as a first-time older expat mum in a mixed-race family. However, I also post product reviews, recipes and activities I do with my son.

Angelo at 20 months

Q: What do you feel is the most important thing for mothers of mixed-race children to know?

A: To be honest, I don’t feel that I have a full picture for myself yet on what it means to mother mixed-race children. However, the one thing that jumped out at me, even though my son is still quite young at 23 months, is that you have to learn to manage your own insecurities. Whether you are insecure because your child doesn’t look anything like you, or that fact that all your children have different features, or people mistake you for the nanny, or wonder if you adopted the child(ren), whatever it is

that might make you self-conscious you have to manage those feelings in order to protect your child(ren) in the hopes that they will grow up to be happy and confident individuals.

MsXpat at 35 weeks pregnant

Q:  With your second child, a girl, on the way, how do you think raising her will compare to raising your first, a son?

A: Here again, it’s a bit blurry, as I don’t consider myself to be a ‘girlie girl’.  Theoretically, I envisioned it would be easier mothering a boy and, by and large so far, it has been. However, I didn’t realize that boys can be more demanding. From most accounts, girls mature faster and are more self-reliant. So, I guess you can say that I hope my daughter will be much calmer than her older brother. Additionally, it’s anyone’s guess which of her parents she’ll take after which will have an obvious impact on everything from her day-to-day care (i.e., hair type and skin sensitivity, size) to how she is ‘received’ and ‘perceived’ by the extended family and the world at large. 

Angelo on left, Daddy on right, both at 3 months

Thank you, MsXpat, for sharing your insights about rearing mixed-race children while living overseas away from your original home just like my Mom, Yuriko, once did.

Here are links where you can connect with Tiger Tales Mom:

http://tigertales-msxpat.blogspot.com/

https://www.facebook.com/T1gerTa1es

https://twitter.com/#!/MsXpat

http://pinterest.com/msxpat/

And, here are some of ours:

Watermelon Sushi Film website

Watermelon Sushi on Facebook

War Brides of Japan II on YouTube

War Brides of Japan on YouTube

War Brides of Japan on OneTrueMedia

War Brides of Japan on Facebook

Hapa*Teez on YouTube

Hapa*Teez on Facebook

Remember to join our Hip Hapa Homeez group page on Facebook for more discussions about being mixed-race, multicultural, interracially involved, transracially adopted or a culture crosser.

Until we meet again, I am and will always be

Your Hip Hapa,

Yayoi

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